Model Justine Joli Makes Sure You Don’t Forget Nerdcore

A few Thursday nights back, those kind, yet clever, fellows over at Nerdcore decided to drop their annual geek-sex Calendar we’ve been fans of. Rather than just announce it online, they decided to blow it out at, of all places, a comic store. Oh, but as you should know by now, these guys do it in style and it wasn’t just some random comic store. It was Golden Apple over on Melrose in Los Angeles. And what better way to mix things up than with the classic party trick: Free Booze!

We know you weren’t there this time out, but that’s okay, as we’ve got our little tour-de-force captured for your viewing pleasure. The photos were shot raw-style, since we knew we’d take no prisoners at the bar, and didn’t want to chance a wayward breast or a geek’s glasses damaging our nice equipment. So click below and check out our journey that includes drunk models, sleazy web-hosts, oversized weapons, and a flirty Chris Gore?

Note: All links to models websites are pretty much NSFW. Ok, really NSFW. If you’re at work, don’t even click on the links. Trust us. Wait ’til you get home, it’s worth it.

Tip #1: Do your homework and know what you’re getting yourself into as far as scenery. Then make sure it works to your advantage.

For instance, as soon as we got in the joint we wished the booze was at the front instead of behind the store. Taking a look above, you can see that aside from the models, the crowd wasn’t the most generous looking of the bunch. We were prepared for this of course and in fact hoped it’d be this way, as it only made us look and seem cooler. Always a plus.

We couldn’t get to the models fast enough, and it seems they couldn’t wait for us either. That’s the 2007 Calendar cover girl Ms. Karlie Montana smiling at us. She knew what was up.

Tip #2: Just because there’s free alcohol, doesn’t mean it will be top of the line. In fact, it will most likely be the opposite.

In this case, we got kinda lucky. The drink du jour was Colt .45 the official beer of Lando Calrissian. Well played Nerdcore.

We’d like to say that this was largely covered by the mainstream media, but let’s be serious, WE got an invite. So the fare was mostly of the internet kind. As such, your behind-the-scenes crews are limited to one or two persons. Also, questions probably won’t be asked of the models. Just shots of them standing there, while the cameraman/host giggle at secret shots of cleavage.

Yes, she loves SRO. They all do.

Tip #3 Anytime you attend an event with models pimping something (moreso if they’re involved with the project) and there’s booze running through the crowd, your guaranteed to get some heavy flirting from the models. Understand that the flirting is all sorts of false. Don’t be mad or blame the models/company. Rather, just roll with it and see where it takes you.

Like our girl Karlie. She knew who the real players were in the crowd and she worked her magic like a champ. We must’ve been on our game though, as she told us “If you guys ever need a video ho, hit me up!” So there you go directors, if you need a bangin’ shorty for your next shoot, give Ms. Montana a holler. You’re all welcome.

We couldn’t help ourselves when we saw some poor souls neglect Tip #3, and get caught in the flirt trap. No joke these guys held up the meet and greet line for about 5 minutes while they chatted up JJ about god knows what. As you can see, she could barely hide her excitement. Kids, don’t be that guy in the green sweater. Even if she was fucked up enough to be into you, giving her your full attention would completely ruin any chance you may have had. Unless of course you were wearing an Affliction shirt with designer torn jeans and sporting a mullet-hawk. Trust us, we played it cool and the girl showed us her stickers. Everybody wins.

Didn’t we warn you about the internet media. This guy pretty much told every model she was the hottest and of course, the models played along, meaning homeskillet above probably got his poor hopes up and maybe even a chub every now and then. We say maybe, because we didn’t stay to verify, but we all know the truth.

This is basically a shot we kinda had to take, so it didn’t look like the previous picture was taken to make fun of the people involved. You encounter these situations from time to time, but its a necessary evil to achieve one’s goal of ridicule. Besides, it’s not like this is a bad shot or anything. It’s a great looking lady holding a giant automatic weapon. Pretty much the stuff dreams are made of. Consider this Tip #4.

The Past, Present, and Future of Nerdcore Calendars. A shot we created ourselves but should’ve dismantled afterwards, as you’ll see below. This was in contention to be our lead photo for this event, then Justine Joli rolled around and this fell all the way to the bottom of the mix. Weird huh?

It didn’t even take a minute after we rocked that shot of the calendars, that Spike TV wandered over to jock our shit. I mean, if you’re gonna steal our shit, at least wait until we’ve left or wandered a good distance away. Tip #5 If your work is the hottness, be prepared for people to jack yo shit. We got caught slippin’ and didn’t cover our tracks and this is what happened. Constant vigilance kids.

Ahh, what can we say about miss Georgia Jones. She’s got the goods. She’s a drinker. She liked us. We’ll neither confirm, nor deny that we got a nice little show from her on the sly. We’ll just say, she’s a classy gal. Besides, would you really wrong a girl with a gun like that? In fact that’s Tip #6, never wrong a nice girl with a drink in one hand and a weapon in the other. Just enjoy the view.

Tip #6: You know your time is almost up when the popular internet personalities start hitting on the models.

We don’t know if it was the booze that started this or if this is how the creator of Film Threat officially rolls. All we know is that we got way uncomfortable and all of a sudden we were on our way home. Its a good thing we had our wits about us this time and had an exit strategy already in the bag.

Tip #7: Make sure the last thing you see before you leave is something worth a damn.

In this case, Justine J was the lucky winner. Which in turn, makes us all winners. We wanna give some big ol’ props to the ladies and gents who rep Nerdcore for inviting us and hopefully not taking us off the guest list in the years to come. Do yourselves a favor kids and purchase that certain someone in your life a sweet calendar. It’s got dates if you’re into keeping track of time. It also has naked women. We’re pretty sure God is gonna buy this calendar, or at least has the hookups.