(Editor’s Note: Welcome to our weekly column where we talk about videos that are popular. I know we usually try and feature music videos that are warm and happy on the inside, but every now and again we just need to get some things off our chests. We have anger issues, what can I say. So what better way to facilitate their release, but through talking shit about mass media music videos. Be it rap, rock, country, whatever. We will be here to make light of it. So, if this is a band you like, or a director you are friends with, we are sorry ahead of time, and probably really don’t care anyway. Enjoy.)

If you pause this video after about 5 seconds, your powers of intuition might tell you that this is a rap video, because we all know that rap videos love the low-angle spinning rims shot. Plus the opening beat kinda leans that way too — but no, this is not a rap video. Un-pause and you shall see that this is a joint from everyones’ favorite Canadian pop-punkers, Simple Plan.

I know, I actually thought these guys retired too, or maybe just got kidnapped on some tour to the Middle East — but to our surprise they still make music and it still hurts my heart.

There are so many things to hate on in this video I don’t really know where to begin. The most important thing, especially if you consider yourself fashion conscious, is that the terrorists scarf trend is officially over — or at least for white people. About a minute in, you realize that the lame-o guitarist is actually rocking one and we all know that when Simple Plan starts to rock your fashion, it’s only a matter of weeks before it’s being sold to the masses at the local Hot Topic. I know sad. Just when you were getting up the courage to wear it out to the mall, this had to go and happen. Well anyway, it’s over. Find something new.

The video itself is painful and has the redeeming value of a punch in the face from a polar bear. Every element of this video has been done before. The lack of originality is breathtaking. We have the talking pictures and billboards, streaking lights from the bands instruments, a girl who can’t act, and action shots of each member against a black back-drop. And that’s just in the first minute. The story is at least fitting, but who really cares. The song lyrics are as literal as a Pop-Country jam and as boring as listening to people talk during music podcasts.

The one good thing to say is at least this is a step up from the last Simple Plan / Frank Borin collaboration. I shit you not, their previous effort was a performance piece (just like all his videos), mixed with a spoof of 24. Yes, the Jack Bower 24.

Looking through Borin’s other work, the only thing that strikes me as decent and a little unique is his clip for Ima Robot which was nominated for a Mvpa Best Direction Award. Otherwise the guy does boring and predictable work, but apparently is a perfect fit for these formulaic bands, visionless labels, and dying media channels like MTV2 & VH1. Oh did I also mention that Perez Hilton has a cameo! Fucking ridiculous.

AND if you were wondering who Simple Plan even is, they sang this song.