By Brian Lopiccolo

Well it’s holiday time again folks, the season of giving and if you are like me, you enjoy spending money but sometimes find it hard to find the right gift for the right person. Especially those really hard people who seem to have everything and are snobby about everything else. Well being quality snobs ourselves, this year SRO is here to help out, giving you numerous gift ideas that are sure to please anyone on your gifting agenda. We stand behind the quality of all these products; they have been tested thoroughly and are approved by the SRO labs (not really), so buy with confidence.

Full product details after the jump

Flickr Pro Account

You know that friend who takes a picture of *everything*. Yeah, we all have that friend. Well, what better way to support their habit than by getting them a Flickr Pro Account. If you don’t know, Flickr is a swanky website that allows you to post your pictures online and it lets you and your friends comment on them, make notes, and generally be giddy. A basic Flickr account is free, but it is fairly limited in that it only allows you to upload 20 MB of pictures a month and only allows you to organize them into 3 separate “sets”. A pro account eliminates all that by giving you 2 Gigabytes of uploads a month and as many sets as you want to make.

Flickr is a way slicker solution than that MySpace rubbish you probably have going on (Facebook isn’t so bad, if you have the option). A Pro account lets your friend or loved one load up pictures of themselves, and you presumably, making asses of yourselves all over town to their heart’s content. It’s an especially good gift for long-distance friends as it will encourage you to share pictures and comments with each other. And isn’t that what the holidays are all about: being able to see your friends and family drunk at a party, no matter where you live.

Cost: $24.99

Order it online directly from Flickr.

 

Beautiful People with Beautiful Feelings

For the artistic and cynical, Beautiful People with Beautiful Feelings showcases the work of Donny Miller as he explores the inner and often depressing realities of our inner thoughts. Some of them are hopeful (“I will always love you. No matter what my horoscope says.”) but the majority of them are definitely not (“Expectations are disappointments in disguise.”). My personal favorite? “I’d like you a lot more if you liked me a lot less”. So harsh, but sadly often the truth. If you are purchasing for your significant other, make sure they don’t read too much into it. Unless you’re looking to break things off, in which case I suggest you bookmark the page that says “We’re at the point in our relationship where I’ll have sex with anyone but you”.

Here’s a commercial for the book that will explain nothing and possibly offend:

Cost: $14-24 (depending on where you order it)

Order from Amazon
Order direct from Donny Miller: he’ll sign it

 

Linn Olofsdotter Illustrations

Linn Olofsdottor is a Swedish graphic design artist. I’m sure you have seen some of her work somewhere and were just unaware. She has designed numerous things for numerous companies, (more info here) and now works with her husband Nando Costa doing freelance in Portland Oregon. Although she does all kinds of art, it was her illustrations which brought her to my attention and while not personally involved that heavily in the art/design/illustration world, I still feel my ‘quality control’ can discern beauty in any form and beauty is what Linn creates. Go and check out her portfolio and while you can’t purchase much of her work yet, she and her husband have set up an online store called Lard & Joy where you can choose from a limited amount of their work. Check it out and get on board with Linn Olofsdotter, her art is amazing.

Cost: $15-125

Check it online at Lard & Joy.
Check her portfolio

 

Stephane Tartelin Illustrations

Another illustrator/artist this time from France. His work is lovely and full of color and life and sex; if someone wants to buy me one of his canvas prints I’ll take any of them. Again, art is so subjective and has a lot to do with personal taste but I dig on all his work so check it out and thank me later if you do too. You can find most of his work for sale at very modest prices over at his new online store, so hop on over before they sell out.

Cost: $50-170

Check it online at Graphiste Freelance.

 

iPod

Putting an iPod on a holiday shopping list is tantamount to putting “food” on a grocery list, but we’re going for it anyway. Why bother? Well, the iPod is a device who’s primary function is to play music and video. If you hadn’t noticed, we’re kind-of-sort-of all about providing downloadable music videos. These music videos are iPod compatible, meaning you can drag them into iTunes and they’ll load right on to your iPod so you can enjoy them wherever it is you like to be. Therefore, an iPod is really the perfect SRO accessory: load it up with some music and some music videos and baby you got yourself a stew going! ((Arrested Development holla!))

For this reason, we suggest the 30GB traditional iPod (white or black: it’s all good) over the iPod Nano or the iPod Shuffle as it gets you that sweet video action at a decent price ($250). If you REALLY like whoever you’re buying this for and they have tons of music you can spring an extra $100 for the 80 GB version. If you don’t like them that much or money is tight, go for the cheaper iPod Nano ($149-$249) or the iPod shuffle ($79). They don’t do video, but they still kick out the jams.

Cost: $250 (30 GB) / $350 (80 GB)

Order directly from Apple.

 

Emusic Subscription

It took me a while to get aboard the Emusic wagon but once I did my hair has started to re-grow and girls are talking to me again. While results may vary, it’s still a good service; they don’t always have all the music you want, right away, but since they specialize in indie acts they tend to get a lot of the music that I want eventually. I don’t use Emusic as my sole resource for buying music, but having them on my team has been a great addition and has saved me a lot of money. A few things that Emusic has over your other downloading sites, most notably the wretched Itunes store are as follows:

1. Much much much cheaper. Their best deal is the 75 songs for 19.99 which is roughly 5-6 albums for 20 dollars or about 25 cents a song. Also you can sign up and pay for the entire year and get 25% off which makes things even cheaper.

2. Once you purchase an album, you can go back in and re-download it at anytime as long as you are still subscribed to their service. What this means is that if your hard drive dies or your Ipod gets flushed down the toilet, instead of the Itunes official policy of you’re fucked, you can go back and re-download your songs without having to pay again. Yeah I know, good times, less worry.

3. Emusic’s songs have no DRM which means you are free to do what you want with the songs instead of having the crippled I-tunes that are only playable on a limited number of computers and unconvertible. Who wants songs that are locked down and not completely yours, that’s bad times.

So basically Emusic is the way to go if you care about things like money, good music, integrity, but only if you possess things like patience and intelligence. Get on that.

Cost: $10-20/month

Check it online at Emusic.

 

Various Albums

Once you get your Emusic subscription plan you might ask yourself ‘what albums should I get now?’, well don’t worry SRO has your back with some 2006 albums that are essential and classic and available on Emusic.

 

Irving Death in the Garden, Blood on the Flowers: Irving plays jangling pop. They make music that you should like. They know how to write hooks and deserve to sell lot’s of records. Get this one, I have nothing but praise for it.
[Emusic link]

 

Arizona Welcome Back Dear Children: Besides the atrocious ‘Stay With Who You Know’, Arizona pulls off a debut album that is at the same time warming, heartfelt, energetic, somber and mostly memorable. I know those words mean nothing to you, so just know that we like it a lot. Also they are pretty low on the indie rock radar so get on these guys now to get maximum hipster cool points.
[Emusic link]

M. Ward Post War: M. Ward has recorded one of the top ten records released this year. Enough said. I guarantee that it will break the top 15 (realistically the top 30 for sure) in the P-Fork year end list and if that’s not a good enough reason to own this album, I’m not sure what is.
[Emusic link]

 

Tokyo Police Club A Lesson in Crime: This album is a must own. Period. 4 out of 4 SRO writers agree. [Emusic link]

 

 

 

 

 

 

Rolling Clock

Buro Vormkrijgers makes some downright beautiful furniture. Concentrating on light fixtures and chairs, I’m especially fond of the clocks. Last year’s pong clock, where time was told by the score in a computer controlled game of pong, was all the rage for closet nerds the world over. This year I present you with the Rolling Clock, a timepiece that elegantly communicates that time is indeed always moving. The circumference is marked with a long continuous sentence roughly indicating hours of the day and the clock literally rolls around your desk so that the current time is always displayed on the bottom. This perfect combination of art, poetry, pretentiousness, and time-keeping is sure to make your cubicle desk stand out from the pack.

Cost: 99 Euros ($127)

Order from Cultivate in the Netherlands.

 

Tabletop Wooden Sudoku Board

Instead of printing them out on your computer and using a pencil, pushing little buttons on your small electric version, or using the stylus of your DS, why not play Sudoku in the sophisticated fashion of a wooden table top board. All the cool kids play it this way, trust me. Anyway, it’s a fashionable way to play so hurry up and get yours and be the envy of your friends. It even comes with a life-time guarantee so you can mistreat your purchase and then replace it should something go wrong, what more can you ask for.

Cost: $39.99

Check it online at Hammacher Schlemmer.

 

300

If you knew us way back when, we could’ve told you that Frank Miller’s Sin City Graphic Novels were the stuff that dreams were crushed by, years before the movie was even a thought. Since many of you didn’t, now is the time to listen to us, when we say to catch one of his older works 300 in the literary form, before it becomes next years coolest movie.

The story entails one of the nuttiest battles ever, concerning 300 Spartan soldiers defending against a Persian army of over 200,000. Throw that story, with Miller’s detailed artistry and his hardcore storytelling, into a blender, hit puree, and you’ve got one badass excuse for a history lesson.

As I said, the movie comes out next year. Give this to you’re socially inclined sidekick now and next year, after your mind is blown from having just seen the battles on the big screen, you and your mate can totally play it off by claiming “Eh, the graphic novel was better…” You know its going to happen, so you might as well take care of it now.

Cost: $20

Order from Amazon

My Morning Jacket: Okonokos (DVD)

I already talked about the live album and warned you the DVD was coming out so I won’t go into that again, but I will remind you about how awesome this concert footage is because I just now watched it and it was excellent. They play in a faux forrest with chandeliers and lots of lights and Jim James sings his lungs out to an assembly of woodland creatures, mostly humans. The show is nonstop energy with great footage of one the best indie bands out there. It doesn’t substitute for seeing Jim James sing live, but when ‘Golden’ comes on and you squint your eyes and turn it up loud, it’s almost like you are there.

Track List:
1. The Party 2. Wordless Chorus 3. It Beats 4 U 4. Gideon 5. One Big Holiday 6. I Will Sing You Songs 7. Lowdown 8. The Way That He Sings 9. What A Wonderful Man 10. Off The Record 11. Golden 12. Lay Low 13. Dondante 14. Run Thru 15. Xmas Curtain 16. O Is The One That Is Real 17. Steam Engine 18. Anytime 19. Mahgeetah 20. The Attack

Cost: $15.99

Check it online at Hammacher Schlemmer.

 

Nintendo DS Lite

If you don’t consider yourself “into” videogames you probably have an idea that video games are these things teenagers and young adults play so they can shoot and kill various things in dark apocalyptic virtual worlds. This is largely true, but Nintendo has quietly changed all that and is really approaching videogames from a whole new angle with their portable Nintendo DS. The DS has two screens, touch controls (like a PDA), and features a microphone. This set-up makes for games that don’t really play like anything else you’ve ever seen as you have to tap, scrape, point, speak, and blow (really) your way to success.

In stark contrast to the hardcore nerd-fests that you may associate with “XBox” and “Playstation”, the Nintendo DS is all about the quirky and approachable fun with games like Cooking Mama (Slice and dice food, like a virtual Iron Chef), Brain Age (small mental challenges featuring Sudoku), Elite Beat Agents (a tapping version of Dance Dance Revolution centered on an FBI-like squad of dancers), Trauma Center (Be a virtual surgeon! Fulfill your Grey’s Anatomy dreams!), Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney (an attorney simulation) and Nintendogs (a virtual puppy who’s sole purpose is to melt girls’ hearts). You also get more traditional videogame favorites like New Super Mario Bros, Metroid, and Final Fantasy if that’s how you roll. The Nintendo DS is the videogame system for people who don’t really like videogames so buy with confidence. It also connects to the internet so you can play with friends around the world from anywhere you can find a Wi-Fi connection. Even better, it comes in Classy-Apple White, Girlfriend-friendly Pink, and Nerd-friendly Black.

Cost: $129

Order from Amazon

 

Acquired Taste (Sub Pop Music Videos)

This is 25 music videos from Sub Pop featuring The Shins, The Postal Service, Chad Vangaalen, Wolf Parade, Sleater-Kinney, Rogue Wave, Mudhoney, and others. At $10, this one is a no-brainer. Get it, watch it, and then come back to us to bitch about why it’s so hard to find downloadable music videos that look this good.

Worth it for the Ugly Cassanova video alone because that video is just straight up about poop.

Cost: $10

Order from Amazon

 

Chuck Klosterman IV

If you’re reading this site in the first place, then this is a no-brainer/already-gots-it. Yes he’s pretentious. Yes he’s probably overrated. Yes it’s just about as obvious as an iPod. But have you ever considered his points invalid or a waste of time? Nay. For instance, take a gander at his insight into a certain ex-Mrs. Federline.

Most of this may have been culled from his work over at Esquire ((A gift subscription to this specific magazine wouldn’t be a bad idea either. Just make sure you get the address correct. Sorry James.)) but for those of you who’ve sadly missed out, you get to play catch up without all of the work. And those who have already partaken in his scribble, can re-live the glory in a nice new package. (At least that’s how George Lucas taught me how to re-sell things an audience may already own.) Read this book, and get ready for another year of handy conversation topics for all those hipster pre-parties, cocktail parties, business mixers, after-parties, and post-post afterparties you’re gonna attend.

Cost: $16.50 (Plus S&H)

Order from Amazon (However, watch out for that video clip of his chat with Bill Maher. It may hurt more than it helps if you’ve never encountered the Klos himself. Just a heads up.)

 

Point Break (Pure Adrenaline Edition)

A classic coming of age story about young men and the vices that consume them. While Point Break didn’t win any Oscars, it did win over the hearts of many fans and to this day, who can honestly say that they don’t like quoting some of Keanu’s classic lines from this cinematic-masterpiece-maybe. Well now the ‘Pure Adrenaline’ edition is out, and while not a
Blue-Ray or HD-DVD version, it does contain 8 new deleted scenes, cast and director interviews, and a ‘filming of’ clip; totally making this a must have for fans of movies. This is Keanu Reeves and Patrick Swayze in their prime and at their best, so make sure you pick this up.

Cost: $14.99

Order it online from Amazon.

 

Symbol Coat Rack by Desu Design

Forget those ugly wall hooks or that wooden coat rack you’ve had for ages. Step up to the last coat rack you will ever need. It comes in vibrant colors or monochrome aluminum, and almost looks like an art piece when not in use. This is seriously the coolest coat rack around so if you can afford it’s hefty price, pick one up for someone who appreciates solid, nifty and functional design.

Cost: $395(color) – $445(monochrome)

Order it online from Desu Design.

 

Brick

Okay, as the on-staff filmmaker, it is my duty to post at least a film or two that anyone who cares about art or writing or quality would do right by giving as a gift to their friends/loved ones. In this case I have chosen two, and before you call me out on the Death of DVD’s, hear me out on this one. Trust me.

Technological advancements aside, as a filmmaker/fan, I’m saddened to say that I have not bought an official dvd from any of this years films. Unfortunately, most of them have either been let downs or released late, in which case their films will not be out until later next year. However, there are two tiny films that actually superceed both the technical sphinx and merit conundrums. The first of which is Rian Johnson’s Brick.

A noir of the darkest, set in the confines of a high school and its outcasts. You should be on board already. There are Femme Fatales (Nora Zehetner of Heroes), an eccentric..um..Eccentric (Lukas Haas of Mars Attacks) and of course the tough, make-my-own-rules, loner protagonist (Joseph Gordon-Levitt of 10 Things I Hate About You and Mysterious Skin). After this, keep an eye out for all, especially Gordon-Levitt, fool’s career is gonna devastate us all in the years to come.

From the get go things aren’t as they seem. For instance, just because its set in teenage territory doesn’t mean that it’s gonna be that easy. The language is damn near cryptic and the story is even moreso an anomaly until the last shot. You could watch this on a 10″ screen in the back of a soccer mom SUV, an iPod, or a black and white portable tv and you would still be blown away. I highly doubt something of this caliber and low-profile will be hooked up anytime soon with a Blu-ray/HDDVD version, so buying it will not really be an issue. Not that it should be anyways. Support shit like this by giving it to your buddies or put it on your own list for your parents. Diamonds like this come few and far between.

Cost: $20 (Plus S&H)

Order From Amazon

 

Kiss Kiss Bang Bang

The obvious connection between the aforementioned Brick and this film would invariably be genre. In the case of both, we have Film Noir. Just as it is dark with the same players Femme Fatale (Michelle Monaghan of Mission: Impossible 3), eccentric Eccentric (Val Kilmer of well, you better fuckin’ know) and loner protag (Robert Downey Jr…seriously, if you don’t know….) the movie has a significant difference as well.

This shit is fuckin’ hilarious!

It’s quick witted, sarcastic, and straight up dirrty at times (like accidentally peeing on dead people dirrty). Folks there is no watching this film once. And just like Brick you can basically watch it anywhere, but as I failed to mention before, you have to pay attention! From the start, words and story are gonna fly by without regards for the distracted.

I’d almost advise for said recepient to watch it alone so as not to get sidetracked at anytime. Turn off your cell phones. Get off of myspace (unless you’re leaving us comments). And if you’re eating, make sure you have everything taken care of. Watching without full attention would be a great disservice to the filmmaker/writer Shane Black (who cut his chops writing all 4 Lethal Weapons).

This film is smart, funny, adult (Lots of cussing, violence, and yes, Michelle Monaghan nudity.) and surprising at times, which makes this a keeper for even those pretentious indie film geeks who talk shit on derivative mainstream films, while secretly coveting them in their cavernous rooms late at night. Buying it for them can at least give them an excuse for seeing it (“Eh, it was a gift.”) And hell, if they don’t like it, jack it from them while they’re passed out on the morning of New Years. Might as well start the year off right!

Cost: $20 (Plus S&H)

Order From Amazon

 

Ticket Album

For those obsessives/packrats who can’t dream of throwing away memories, or need reminders because of a certain intoxicated state of minds, we have here what really is a no brainer, The Ticket Album. We all know you go to tons of shows and although this doesn’t solve the problem for those super indie shows that don’t even sell tickets, this is still a pretty useful/wise prize for your hipster companion.

I could use this mos def, as my 4 year old $.99 business card holder with an Aquabats sticker on the cover, has lived well past its prime and run out of space for all those shows I continue to go to. We know there are some of you out there that are too cool for the time honored tradition of ticket saving (movie stubs got nothing on you) but there are those of us who want to prove that we were there or that want to believe we were there, even if we can’t remember, in a stylish way. It’s cheap. Useful. And if you go the custom route, can definitely be pretty witty. Unlike myself.

Cost: $7.95 – 9.95 (Depending on your choice of custom cover or standard)

Order From TicketAlbums.com

Chipotle Gift Card

A few years back, I realized a few things concerning Christmas Shopping. I never considered buying stocking stuffers until the morning of X-mas, hence my roommates/parents always wound up with little-to-nothing in their stockings. I also realized that, however safe gift cards were as gifts, I was getting a little bored with the standard Best Buy, Target, Tower Records (whoops!) business. Finally I put those problems together and wound up killing two birds with one stone.

Gift Cards for Food!! However small or insignificant this may sound, its actually a perfect gift for stocking stuffers or for that buddy of yours who you kinda have to give a gift, but don’t wanna spend too much on. This is also perfect for most of the indie hipsters out there, as many of you are starving college kids or starving artists (I assume). You can’t go wrong with food, and I can attest as I have been on the receiving side of this in the years since discovering this great idea. It has also come in handy for those times when rent was paid in the morning (or the bank account was in the red) and later on in the day there was a rumbly in my tumbly that Ramen noodles just could not satisfy.

Which brings me to my choice in sustenance. The Chipotle gift card. I’ve been hitting this place up at least once or twice a week for the past 3 years (Even though I’ll admit, I’ve burnt out on it here and there.) and I still stand by it as one of the better things in life. Its quality food and quality business approach are standards that I can support and at the same time reap the benefits. Plus they give me a free drink everytime I flash my student ID, fuck yeah! You really can’t go wrong with a gift like this, but you don’t have to take MY word for it!

Cost: However much the person is worth to you.

Order From Chipotle

Lost Girls

When it comes right down to it, Alan Moore is basically the apex of writers in the graphic novel neck of the woods. Normally, I wouldn’t dream of putting up anything other than the colossus that is The Watchmen, but you’re all hipsters in the know, and Moore/The Watchmen should be nothing new to you.

So instead, I’ve put up Lost Girls, the newest (and highly anticipated) work from the mind of one of our times greatest storytellers. Surrounding the pure heroines of stories we all know and cherish (Dorothy from The Wizard of Oz, Alice from Alice and Wonderland, and Wendy from Peter Pan) Moore basically violates said stories and pushes the characters and the reader into some fucked up territory. Basically he’s turned the stories into porn, although not the nice porn or weird fetish porn that goes with sexually realized fictional characters. No this is pornography (kinda) with consequences, which in turn charges the reader to examine not only their limits, but what happens when ideas we’ve held as precious and wholesome become aged and perverted.

This book could very well be taken the wrong way and will most likely incite debate, but the best stuff usually causes those kinds of reactions if you think about it. Besides, would you expect anything less from a guy who wrote about Jack the Ripper (From Hell)? Not the most kid-friendly or brightest gift to put under a tree, but for those special friends in your life who are open-minded or damaged goods (or both), this one is definitely up on the high road of gift giving

Cost: $47

Order from Amazon

Vibe Earphones

Just to let you know, the sound quality of your earphones sucks. Yep. If all you listen to is mp3 encoded at 128 or 192 kbps you won’t really notice, but the discerning hipster always goes for super high quality audio. You can’t listen to super high quality audio on cheap-ass plastic earbuds: it’s a slap to the face.

If you want to stick out from the white earbud pack get yourself some chrome or gunmetal black Vibe earbuds from V-MODA. They look sweet, they sound sweeter, and you can be smug in your audio superiority. More importantly: chrome and fucking gunmetal black! Sold

Cost: $101 (not that bad in high-quality audio land… trust me)

Order directly from V-Moda.